There is now a professional cornhole league. The pay isn’t great, but the players aren’t in it for money, they’re in it for the glory of the game.
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You know that song, ‘You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you’? I’m actually almost positive it’s not about me.
Kids these days don’t react the way they used to when parents say they’re going to go get a switch.
I’ve lost over $3,000 on scratch off lottery tickets, but you know what they say: you gotta spend money to make money.
Here is my impression of a horny man at a tautology convention:
“Who’s a guy gotta screw to get laid around here?”
I took a vacation to Playa del Sol, which of course is Spanish for beach del Sol.
I organized a photoshoot at the top of a mountain. We couldn’t pay the model, but she did get so much exposure she actually died of it.
Kyrie Irving announced that when he retires from the NBA, he’s going to play for one of those famous streetball teams – the Harlem Disktrotters.
I’m not gay, but I wouldn’t necessarily say no to getting a blowjob from a guy, because I could just close my eyes and pretend that it’s actually just Brad Pitt.
It’s what I do anyway.
I don’t fully believe it when I hear about children starving in Africa. I mean, just look at the pictures – all their bellies look damn bloated to me.